via: Unsplash / ELEVATE
Walks into a bar jokes are great for any occasion. They can make people huff, blow air forcefully from their nose and more importantly, make them laugh. From witty jokes to maths jokes.
With the same jokes flying around, it can be difficult to find the perfect jokes. But don't worry, we have you covered with some of the best walk into a bar jokes out there.
Contents
16 Best Walk Into A Bar Jokes
via: Pexels / ELEVATE
Walks into a bar jokes can be either hilarious or downright silly. But when the occasion calls for it, you need to have a few of the best ones up your sleeve.
1. A ghost walks into a bar, the bartender says...
This joke is so simple it is actually hilarious.
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2. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says...
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3. A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm and says...
It's always nice to go for drinks with a friend, but it is even better when it's funny.
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4. A guy walks into a bar carrying jumper cables. The bartender says...
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via: Unsplash / Michael Discenza
6. Two conspiracy theorists walk into a bar.
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7. A snake walks into a bar. The bartender says...
It might take a while for your audience to get this one, but when they do it'll be hilarious.
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8. So a five-dollar bill walks into a bar, and the bartender says...
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9. E-flat walks into a bar. The bartender says...
As if the minor scales are not sad enough. But this joke makes it just a little funnier.
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10. A corn stalk walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Want to hear a joke?" The corn stalk replies...
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11. Three fonts walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says...
With hilarious visuals and a little wordplay, this is one of the funniest jokes around.
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via: Unsplash / Bruno Martins
12. An atheist, a vegan and a Crossfitter walk into a bar.
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13. A cat walks into a bar.
For anyone who has ever owned a cat, this joke is hilariously accurate.
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14. A giraffe walks into a bar. "Sorry", said the barman...
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15. A blind man walks into a bar...
A bit of physical comedy will always make people laugh.
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16. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks...
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13 Cheesy Walk Into A Bar Jokes
via: Pexels / ELEVATE
There is only one thing people love more than cheese, and it's cheesy jokes. Each joke might be met with an eye roll, but you know that they are really laughing deep down.
17. Back in my day you could go to a convenience store with a dollar and come back with some chips and 3 candy bars.
While we don't agree with shoplifting, we can't help but laughing at this one.
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18. A lion walks into a bar...
Fight or flight? Neither, just a lot of laughing.
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19. A woman was throwing darts at a bar when an attractive young man approached her. He said...
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20. After playing on the jungle gym for a few hours, a tired child walks into a bar.
This joke reads like a funny fail video, obviously making it hilarious.
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21. A tennis ball walks into a bar...
This one is a little backhanded, get it?
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22. A fan walks into a bar, turns to the bartender and...
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via: Unsplash / Marcio Chagas
23. Descartes walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender asks “You wanna beer?”Descartes says...
Who knew mixing philosophy and comedy would be so funny?
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24. A horse walked into a bar and the bartender asked...
This one may be an oldie but it is definitely a goodie.
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25. A brain walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer. The bartender says...
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26. A goldfish walks into a bar and looks at the bartender. The bartender asks, “What can I get you?” The goldfish says...
There is nothing funnier than mixing a joke with impending doom.
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27. A dachshund walks into a bar and says...
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28. A cat walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. The bartender asks...
Some of the best jokes are ones that have an element of truth. That makes this one really funny.
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29. Shakespeare walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. “I can’t serve you,” replies the bartender...
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15 Bad Walk Into A Bar Jokes
via: Pexels / PIXABAY
For some reason, bad jokes, and more particularly bad walk into a bar jokes, are always a crowd-pleaser. That's why it is great to have some bad jokes up your sleeve.
30. An amnesiac walks into a bar and asks the bartender...
Oh, this one is so bad, it's nearly funny.
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31. A man walks into an English pub and orders a pint of Adenosine Triphosphate. The barman says...
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32. A book walks into a bar. The bartender says...
If you are ever caught in a conversation with an author, this is a great joke to tell.
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33. A drunk walks into a bar...
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34. A cable TV installer walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says...
Some of the best jokes are the ones where karma is involved.
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35. An electrician walks into a bar all amped up and is shocked when...
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36. A pig walks into a bar, the bartender says "What'll it be?" The pig replies...
With a great pun and fast delivery, this joke is always a winner.
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via: Unsplash / Pascal Debrunner
37. A guy walks up to the Bartender at a wedding reception and asks...
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38. The last man on earth walks into a bar, and says...
This one is kind of sad, but it's also really funny.
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40. A giraffe walks into a bar.
Slightly dirty and a little bit adult but this joke is so subtle its hilarious.
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41. A really big Chia pet walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "What’ll it be?" The Chia pet says...
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42. A short story walks into a bar.
And that is literally all she wrote.
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43. An inkjet cartridge walks into a bar. The bartender asks...
Because let's face it. An ink cartridge is never full!
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44. A baseball walks into a bar, and the bartender...
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10 Witty Walk Into A Bar Jokes
via: Pexels / ELEVATE
Witty jokes are a great, especially when you are in the middle of a very intelligent conversation. By picking the right witty jokes, you can make a dull conversation entertaining.
45. After a rather wet night the bartender asks Bruce, who's lying on the floor: "Would you like a chair there, mate?"
There is bring drunk and then there is being drunk. This one gets the hilarity just right.
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46. A chicken walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve poultry!" "That's okay,” says the chicken...
Who knew an oblivious chicken could be so funny?
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47. Two tubs of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who is a container of cottage cheese, says to them, "We don't serve your kind in here." "Why not?” asks one of the yogurts.
This one is both educational and funny.
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48. A minimalist...
Short. Sweet. Hilarious.
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49. An eye chart walks into a bar. Almost immediately, the bartender walks over and sets down a glass of dark beer and some chicken wings, which just happens to be exactly what the vision checking tool was going to order. “How did you know what I wanted?” the optometrist’s aide asked. “Simple”, said the bartender...
This one is both funny and cute. A perfect combination.
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via: Pexels / Designecologist
50. A ceiling fan walks into a bar, and says, “I’d like a beer, but I can’t pay you until tomorrow.” Bartender says...
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51. An EMT walks into a bar and is startled to see a woman lying on the floor and no one showing any concern. Rushing toward her to help, he asks the bartender over his shoulder, “Any idea what the lady’s problem is?” The man drawing beer, says...
With its serious introduction, the punch line of this joke is such to know anyone out.
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52. An egg walks into a bar, looks around and sees the place is empty. The egg says to the bartender, “Looks like I beat everyone here this morning.” The bartender says...
If you are even asked the answer to the infamous question, this joke should set them straight.
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53. A knife and a spoon walk into a bar. The bartender, used to seeing the full set of silverware together, says, “Where’s your four-pronged friend?” “Oh,” the sharper of the two replies...
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54. A chicken walks into a bar. The bartender says...
Just in case your ever wondering why the chicken crossed the road, this is probably the reason.
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18 Funniest Walk Into A Bar Jokes Ever
via: Unsplash / ELEVATE
What is funnier than a joke? The funniest jokes ever obviously! These jokes are sure to make your audience roll on the ground laughing.
55. A chicken walks into a bar, looks around and says to the barman...
A case of mistaken identity does have a tendency to make people laugh.
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56. A Don’t Walk sign walks into a bar. The bartender says...
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57. A light bulb walks into a bar, hands the bartender a dollar and says, “I need some quarters for the meter.” Bartender says...
Turning an old joke on its head, this joke is both clever and really funny.
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58. An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening...
If you are using this one, it is probably best to write it down.
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59. A square, a triangle, and a hexagon walk into a bar. The bartender says...
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60. A neutrino walks into a bar. The bartender says "we don't serve neutrinos in here." The neutrino says...
With a little bit of physics, you can make any joke funny.
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via: Pexels / Pixabay
61. A TV sitcom walks into a bar. The bartender says...
A little word of caution, if you use this joke, it may lead to a sing-a-long version of the Cheers theme tune.
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62. Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar.
Or does. Or doesn't. Or does. We'll never know.
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63. A weasel walks into a bar. “You look underage,” says the Bartender. “I can’t serve you alcohol.”...
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64. A potato peeler walks into a bar, goes and sits in a booth in the back. A while later, a potato walks into the bar. Bartender says...
Get it? Cause he's Scotch tape? Just me. Ok...
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65. A piano walks into a bar after hours. The bartender says...
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66. A guy walks into a bar and asks, “Do you have any helicopter-flavored potato chips?” The bartender says...
Simple but really effective, this joke will have people laughing in no time.
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via: Depositphotos / porjai
67. A roll of tape walks into a bar. The bartender says, “What would you like?” The tape says...
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68. A roll of duct tape walks into a bar. The bartender says “What can I get you?” The duct tape says...
Consistency is key when telling a good joke.
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69. A guy walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender looks up and says "Where did you get that ape?" Guy says, "This isn't an ape, it's a duck". The bartender says...
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70. Bacon and Eggs walk into a bar. The bartender says...
Simple and to the point, this joke is one of the funniest ones around.
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71. Two peanuts walked into a bar...
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72. A pig goes into a bar and orders ten drinks. He finishes them up and the bartender says, "Don't you need to know where the bathroom is?" The pig says...
Cute and slightly nostalgic, this joke is really hilarious.
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16 Corny Walk Into A Bar Jokes
via: Pexels / mentatdgt
From intelligent jokes to stupid jokes, corny jokes come in all shapes and sizes. When you really want to make someone laugh, corny jokes are the best ones to have.
73. A web-content writer walks into a bar...
Well they say that the hook is all you need for a good joke.
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74. A simile and a metaphor walk into a bar...
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75. A guy walks into a bar. His buddy laughs and says...
Sometimes having someone back can be funny.
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76. Ambiguity walks into a bar. When the bartender sees it...
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77. Redundancy walks into a bar...
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78. A pickle walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, you're a pickle! What are you doing here?" The pickle says...
With a bit of misdirection, this joke really gets people laughing.
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via: Unsplash / Jonathan Pielmayer
79. A split infinitive tries to surreptitiously walk into a bar.
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80. A bar walks into a man.
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81. A skeleton walks into a bar and says...
The visual on this one is good enough to have everyone laughing.
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82. After hotly pursuing a hearse, a pun walks into a bar and asks if...
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83. A spy walks into a bar. The bartender says...
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84. Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks...
By combining literary knowledge and beer, what do you get? A great walk into a bar joke, obviously.
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85. Crowded with happy patrons...
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86. A minimalist technical writer walks into a bar.
Simple and to the point.
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87. A warlock walks into a bar...
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88. A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve superconductors here."...
For those of you that are into particle physics, this joke is pretty hilarious.
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20 Walk Into A Bar Dad Jokes
via: Pexels / Clem Onojeghuo
For years, dad jokes have been the type of jokes that people roll their eyes at. But let's face it, they are the best type of jokes.
89. A cowboy walks into a bar, dressed entirely in paper...
Tell this joke with a couple of actions and it will be really funny.
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90. A white horse walks into a bar, and the barman sees the horse and says: "Hey, we have a whisky here named after you!" The horse then says:
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91. David Hasselhoff walks into a bar and says to the barman, "I want you to call me David Hoff." The barman replies...
A dad joke wouldn't be funny without a play on words.
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92. So three lazy stereotypes walk into a bar.
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93. A robot walks into a bar, orders a drink, and lays down a bill. The bartender says "Hey, we don't serve robots!", and the robot says...
Scary and weirdly accurate, this joke has a weird sense of impending doom around it.
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via: Unsplash / Alex Knight
94. So three post-structuralists walk into a bar...
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95. So Marx, Lenin and Trotsky walk into a bar. Marx argues the punchline is inevitable. Lenin has a five-year plan...
Who knew economy theory could be so funny?
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96. And the barman says 'why are you all dressed this way?'...
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97. So three moon-landing deniers walk into a bar...
With so much intrigue, who really knows?
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98. A cockroach, a rat and an ant walk into a bar...
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99. Bill Gates walks into a bar, and everyone inside suddenly becomes...
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via: Unsplash / Austin Distel
100. A hipster walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Would you care for our drinks menu?" and the hipster says...
This one is funny and also painfully accurate.
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101. A baby goat walks into a bar, and the bartender says...
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102. A man walks into a bar...
You see, limbo is all about techniques you know?
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103. A man walks into a bar in London...
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104. The Mediterranean Sea, Red Sea and Black Seas walk into a bar looking very sad. The barman looks at them and says:
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via: Unsplash / john ehrlich
105. Elvis walks into a bar, says “love me, tender”, and the bartender...
Who knew that a little bit of romance would be so funny?
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106. An infrared photon walked into a bar and said...
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107. An xray photon walked into a bar. The bartender says,"can I get you something to drink?" The xray photon said...
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108. A green photon walked into a bar. The bartender said...
Because, you know, you wouldn't want to make a photon embarrassed.
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13 Walk Into A Bar Math Jokes
via: Unsplash / ELEVATE
Telling a joke is comes down to simple maths. With one jokes and one bit of humor, you get great math jokes. Don't believe me? Well, have I got some great math jokes for you?
109. A calculus teacher walks into a bar, and orders a Coke. The bartender says, “Can’t I get you something stronger?” The calculus teacher says...
A responsible calculus teacher is a hilarious calculus teacher.
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110. A bar walks...
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111. Two polynomials walk into a bar. The bartender, a derivative, asks them “Can I take you order?” The polynomials run out screaming...
Sequential mathematics has literally never been this funny.
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112. And the bartender says “Sorry, we don’t serve tachyons here.”...
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113. A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. The barman looks at the three and says...
Truth be told, this can actually happen in real life!
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114. A definite integral walks into a bar and orders five shots of tequila. The bartender says, “Dude, are you sure you can handle that?” The integral says...
There is something about a math joke that can really make you giggle.
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via: Unsplash / Francisco Galarza
115. An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a quarter of a beer. Before the next one can order, the bartender says...
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116. ƒ(x) walks into a bar. The barman says...
Is it bad that I actually feel a little sorry for f(x)? It's still pretty funny though.
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117. A definite integral walks into a bar and orders five shots of tequila. The bartender says, “Dude, are you sure you can handle that?” The integral says...
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118. A statistician walks into just your average bar. Bartender says, we don't serve statisticians in this bar. The statistician says...
What is the statistical probability that this one is funny? Really really high.
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119. a guy walks into a bar and says, “give me 10x the number of drinks that everyone in here is drinking” the bartender says...
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120. Square root of negative one walks into a bar and asks a girl for her number, she says...
For anyone who has ever tutored students in maths, this one is for you.
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121. Three logicians walk into a bar. bartender: do you all want beer?
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14 Stupid Walk Into A Bar Jokes
via: Unsplash / LexScope
What is funny, short and makes people sigh? Stupid jokes, obviously! They are silly and stupid but they are always funny.
122. A bear walks into a bar wearing a baseball cap. Bartender says, “You want to watch the Cubs?”. The bear says...
A little courtesy goes a long way.
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123. A red, an orange, a yellow, a green, a blue, an indigo, and a violet photon...
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124. A man walks into a bar...
This one is so stupid it nearly makes you hit yourself in the head.
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125. A soccer ball walks into a bar...
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126. A magician walks down an alley and...
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127. A priest, a rabbi and a photon walk into a bar, and a drunk says...
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128. A guy sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar. He walks up to her and says, "Where have you been all my life?" "Well," she says...
Shocking but hilarious, this one is super stupid.
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via: Pexels / Helena Lopes
129. A giraffe walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Do you want a long neck?" The giraffe says...
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130. A photon stopped at the bar and asked if there was a room to rent. The bartender said "Sure thing. Can I take your bag up to your room?" The photon said...
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131. Arnold Schoenberg walks into a bar...
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132. An SEO copywriter walks into a bar...
Well this joke is always on the top of my search list.
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133. A photon walks into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll you have?" The photon says...
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134. E-flat walks into a bar. The bartender says...
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135. A baby seal walks into a bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender...
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14 Dog Walk Into A Bar Jokes
via: Unsplash / Timur M
Dogs are cute, aren't they? They are man's best friend but they are also really funny. That's why there is so many dog jokes out there.
Here are14 dog walk into a bar jokes:
136. A Dog Walks into a Bar, and says...
Who doesn't love a dog with class?
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137. A dog limps into a bar and says...
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138. A dog goes into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender says, “You don’t see a dog in here drinking a martini very often.” The dog says...
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139. A Dog Walks into a Bar and...
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140. A blind man walks into a bar, grabs his dog by its hind legs, and swung him around in a circle. The bartender says, "Hey buddy, what are you doing?" And the blind man says...
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141. A Dog Walks into a Bar and, orders water because...
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142. A tourist goes into a bar, and there's a dog sitting in a chair, playing poker. He says, "Is that dog really playing poker?" And the bartender says...
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via: Unsplash / Matthew Henry
143. A Dog Walks into a Bar and, orders water because...
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144. A Dog Walks into a Bar and asks...
At least he asked first.
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145. A dog walks into a bar, the bartender puts a pint, some mixers and ice in front of him. The dog asks...
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146. A Dog Walks into a Bar...
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147. A dog walks into a bar. The dog says, "Gimme a beer." The bartender says, "Wow! You can talk! You should get a job at the circus!" The dog says...
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148.A Dog Walks into a Bar and says "you look quite fetching today." The Bartender says "Thanks, I really dig your backyard." The dog says...
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149. A Dog Walks into a Bar...
Their lack of concentration is really what we love about dogs, isn't it?
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11 Political Walk Into A Bar Jokes
via: Unsplash / Kevin Curtis
Politics can be very serious. And that's why it is so easy to make political jokes. From satire to walks into a bar jokes, political jokes always make people laugh.
150. A black guy, a muslim, an illegal alien, and a socialist walk into a bar. The bartender asks...
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151. So Gaddafi, Mubarak and Ben-Ali walk into a bar. After they left...
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152. So three French thinkers walk into a bar. But they refuse to continue the joke because...
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153. A Democrat walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "What's your most popular drink?" Bartender replies, "a Russian Collusion". The Democrat responds "I'll have one of those." The bartender then...
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154. A politician walks into a bar. Boom.
Can someone please say "too soon"?
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via: Unsplash / David Levêque
155. So a Maronite, a Sunni, a Shiite, a Druze, a Greek Orthodox, a Greek Catholic, An Arm...
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156. So three Arab commentators walk into a bar. They get funding from the EU and call it...
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157. So three Jordanians walk into a bar. The king removes the Prime Minister & dissolves the parliament...
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158. So three members of the Syrian opposition walk into a bar. But...
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159. So three Iranian presidential candidates walk into a bar. We're waiting...
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160. So, Bill Clinton walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, “Does he talk?” Parrot says...
Perfectly accurate and hilarious, this joke will have your audience in knots laughing.
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8 Walk Into A Bar Lawyer Jokes
via: Unsplash / Taylor davidson
In the serious world of law, lawyer jokes are never welcome. But for the rest of the time, lawyer jokes are great jokes to have up your sleeve, no matter the event.
161. So this lawyer walks into a bar and asks...
A common misunderstanding that is always funny.
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162. A man walks into a bar with his alligator and asks: “Do you serve lawyers here?”. The bartender says: “Yes, of course we do!” The man says...
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163. An alcoholic law student walks into a bar...
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164. Guy walks into a bar and yells, “All lawyers are pigs.” The man at the end of the bar says” I object to that remark”. The guy responds:
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via: Unsplash / William Topa
165. A guy walks into a bar. Bartender asks, “how’s it going?”...
This is one is slightly dirty but is still funny.
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166. A law student walks into the bar and orders a beer. "Um, we dont serve beer". Slightly miffed, the law student says, "pint of cider then?" "Yeah, we dont have any cider either". "Well, you must at least have a glass of fucking wine?" asks the law student, infuriated...
And that's what happens when you drunk the night before your bar exam.
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167. A lawyer, a spy, a mob boss, and a money launderer walk into a bar. The bartender says...
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168. A man walks into a lawyer's office...The man says, "I can't afford your hourly rate, but if I give you $200 will you answer two questions for me?" The lawyer says...
This one is so painfully accurate it kinda hurts.
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16 Walk Into A Bar Office Jokes
via: Unsplash / Crew
Offices are weird places. With so many different personalities stuffed into one building, it is the perfect place to come up with office jokes that everyone in the office will love. But don't worry, we have some for you.
169. A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’ll have a…………pint of beer please.” The bartender asks...
Even if you are afraid of bears, this joke is still really funny.
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170. A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender sets the beer down and says...
Not only is this joke funny but also educational.
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171. A man walks out of a bar and meets a policeman. "Hey," the policeman says, "your eyes are bloodshot, have you been drinking Bloody Mary's?" "Well," the man says...
Touché! This is hilarious.
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172. A leprechaun walks into a bar. The bartender serves him and says, "That'll be $2.50." The leprechaun puts two dollar bills on the bar and starts walking away. The barkeep shouts...
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173. A man walks into a bar and says he wants to buy a wasp. The bartender replies, "We don't sell wasps in here." The man then says...
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174. A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch, that was hot!". It was a BARbeque.Show Answer
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This one is so dumb all you can do is roll your eyes.
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